journey

E.T. go home!

~ Kate Wilson ~ 6 Comments

It is almost three years since I decided to start up a new life in Catalunya.

I left Cornwall – a place that had always felt like the perfect home with it’s beautiful scenery, relaxed lifestyle, friendly and interesting people and perfect atmosphere for creativity.
I left my home, my work, my friends and for two years I left my dogs and cats as well. It meant giving up a lot of security and of feeling ‘at home’.
Since I have been here in Catalunya I have lived in three places and now again I am thinking of changing house. It has almost become an obsession – Where is Home?  Where is the best place?  Mountains or coast? Town or Countryside?  Where can I find a place to settle my things into their places, somewhere when I can work, a place to make sculptures, to garden and plant vegetables?  Somewhere my dogs can be happy, a place to relax and get to work.

I was walking with Bonnie a few days ago and thinking again about these questions, feeling the painful longing in my stomach that usually makes me head for the computer to search through the houses for rent pages. I often blame myself for this pain – that I chose to leave my own home, that I am not able to feel totally at home in my partners house, that I have not worked hard enough to find a new place to put down my roots.
Into my head came the phrase ‘setting off to seek your fortune in far-off lands’.  I thought of those stories of the traveller who leaves all that is familiar to go on a quest – normally a spiritual one.
It sounds obvious but I hadn’t thought of it like this before. Perhaps I am still journeying, still travelling with my knapsack on my back? I thought I had settled down here but what if the journey is not over?  Perhaps this is not yet the moment to find a new home where I can find a new comfortable security?

Of course I want desperately to be at home, to be safe and settled but, what is it I need to learn before I can go there?
I come back again and again to the need to feel comfortable in myself, to have a strong central axis that keeps me steady no matter where I am.  It is simplistic to just say ‘you need to feel at home in yourself’ as if it were just a decision you can make and …boom…you are at home.

Perhaps The Wizard of Oz is the best example of this process.

To get back home you need to find your brains, your heart, and your courage. And if you can’t find them in the place where you are then you need to go off and look for them.  And this journey can be scary and lonely as well as exciting and fulfilling.
So how am I doing with all this?

Here in Catalonia I feel my heart pulsing with both joy and pain, my brain is working overtime as it copes with language problems and life issues.  That leaves courage. This I think is a work in progress.  While others say I am brave, I feel every day that the battle with fear is not over.
I look forward to the day I can  click my heels and repeat ‘there’s no place like home’.
But I’m not there yet.

Receiving visitors

~ Kate Wilson ~ 3 Comments

No photos today – sorry but it’s been a day of doing last minute things and I’m only writing here to let you know we are setting off for Catalunya tomorrow and although I am very nervous (about what?  not sure really but just General Fears) I am also ready to go.
I’m hoping for time to write a little on the way down – Blue is going to do some guest posts about her first trip ‘abroad’.
The van is packed, the tickets bought and the first dog friendly hotel is booked.
The weather is awful – all day it has teased us with sunshine and then soaked us as we trudged across the field carrying last things up to the cabin.
I have moved in with my lovely neighbours who have helped and supported me in so many ways throughout this process.  My own empty and echoing house was beginning to feel very weird – for me but also for the dogs who wandered from room to room looking forlorn before sinking down in  sad heaps on the cold concrete floors. So we moved out and have been sleeping better and breathing in normality with my friends.
Today there were a stream of visitors to say goodbye – to Blue!  After 15 years in Lamorna she has many friends both human and canine. Many of her old dog companions have died and she is one of the last of her generation. People came bearing gifts for the journey – homemade treats, biscuits, marrowbone markies.  Last photos were taken. Hugs and kisses accepted with a regal sigh. Blue cares deeply about those she loves but she doesn’t like to be fussed over.
Time to sleep now and tomorrow off we go on a great adventure – vuelvo al sur!
Vuelo al Sur
como se vuelve siempre al amor
vuelvo a vos
con mi deseo. con mi temor

The Wisdom of Dogs

~ Kate Wilson ~ 2 Comments

We have arrived in Lamorna.  After a journey of about 3500 km from Catalunya to Cornwall via France, Italy, Switzerland and London, we rolled in at lunch time and within 15 minutes the dogs were playing together in the field.
After all the worrying it was fine. All three dogs are getting along fine.

Of course there were moments of growling and irritation…..but as for the dogs – they are getting on fine!

And now that I have more time and some reliable internet I will write a little more about the journey – but that will be tomorrow. Now it’s time for a cup of tea and a familiar bed.