There’s no doubt that living in another country sometimes is lonely. There are so many things that are easier to do when you speak the language, know who to ask, can make a phone call without having to practise first.
Things I have found challenging but which I have succeeded in doing include
• buying cheese from a cheese counter and asking to taste first
• going to the dentist for an emergency filling
• having my hair cut and coloured
• visiting a gynaecologist
• teaching tango classes in Spanish
• driving the car alone around town
Things I still find challenging so have put off doing include
• sorting out my liability insurance so I can practise acupuncture
• phoning the appropriate agency to find out why I have not been given a health card
• opening a bank account
• looking for somewhere to rent out of town that has a garden
• driving a bit further afield alone – to the beach for example
Perhaps these things seem silly – you wouldn’t find them tricky – or maybe you would have other sillier things that would stump you. But in the end it comes down to confidence and sometimes when you are feeling a little alien it can be the small things that get to you. Like today the little girl laughing and pointing at me when I passed on the bike – I felt the wheels wobble along with my sense of belonging.
So what to do?
1. Accept
Yes I am different. Here amongst all these brown-eyed dark haired people I look like an alien. I can’t hide it so better to walk tall and proud.
2. Keep it in Proportion
When something shakes you, don’t let it bring down the whole building. Maybe I looked funny that moment on the bike, big bag of Catalan books on my back, frowning as I tried to weave between all the children and parents coming out of school. It doesn’t mean I am a total freak – old, fat and ugly!
3. Remember there are people who love you
Today I was feeling alone and vulnerable but there are people in my life who like me, who smile when they see me, who want to spend time with me. Without this backup support it is normal to feel fragile.
4. It is Normal
In a new life, living in a different culture, surrounded by voices speaking another language it would be strange if you didn’t sometimes feel like an alien. The important thing is not to take it too personally – there will be days when everything lifts and excites you and others when there seems a conspiracy to defeat you. In some ways I AM different. I have had to change some habits, to modify the way I behave. After all it is my choice to live here and….when in Rome….
The good thing is that here I have an excuse for feeling like an alien – when this happens in the UK perhaps it means that I really do come from Mars!
5. Find a Cake
Today I wobbled on into the town centre, noticed all the people meeting and greeting friends and family, decided not to run for home, went into a cafe and ordered a coffee and a cake. I didn’t have my camera so can’t show you how delicious and beautiful it was but…..it was soft and sweet, on top was a layer of yellow creamy custard and the woman who served it started to chat with me about learning Catalan. I cut it into small pieces and ate it slowly, remembering how lucky I am to be here.
PS For the sake of the blog I went back next day and took a photo of the same cake! Before eating it.
What things do you find a challenge in another country?
It was a present from Barcelona and came wrapped in the usual pretty paper that bakers specialise in here. It is called a Coca and is a speciality of Catalunya. They can be sweet or savoury and open or closed. This one is open and sweet. The closed ones often look a little boring when you see them in the bakers but filled with that wonderful custard cream are totally irresistable to me. The pastry in a good coca is light and soft and delicious.
Turrons come in many different varieties and at special dinners are cut into small cubes and presented on a large plate. Neules are popular and look nice but don’t really do much for me. I like the chocolate ones occasionally. Everyone here LOVES the little packets at the front of the photo – they are polvorones and the supermarkets are full of them. They also come in a hundred different shapes and sizes but they have one thing in common – they break down into dry dust in your mouth and I hate them! I feel bad about it but I do.
