It’s terrible for me to leave these long silences here.
Every day there are words streaming through my head and I want to write them down and to send out a message to you. It is so interesting to be living through this shift in life direction.
I want to tell you about it but…….
These times of change and uncertainty have brought with them great self doubt and a strange inability to verbalise what is happening.
Normally when I am lost I use words as guide ropes to lead me back home.
Words can help you understand your experiences but sometimes they seem to be a distraction. I write and delete, write and delete. Words form on the page and a few minutes later they seem irrelevant.
Writing at times like this is like trying to grasp the wind. What is true in one moment has changed as soon as I have written it down. Like birds that settle on the branch just long enough to catch my attention but when I try to get close, they fly away.
Of course all this makes me quite anxious. For three weeks now I have had pain in my lower back which makes it hard to do the physical jobs that need doing. There is a constant knot of tension in my stomach. I woke today about 3.30am with all systems alert and slightly panicky.
I am home and yet feel lost and alone.
I have often advised people to let themselves be in these moments of crisis without fighting or trying to escape. To accept the need to rest when your body seems to fall apart. If you can’t write – then don’t write. If you feel vulnerable and self-conscious amongst people – then spend time alone. If you can’t do the garden, paint the house, unpack boxes, clean windows – then do nothing for a while.
But it’s not easy to follow this advice. I know that. It means trusting that life will move on by itself, without my pushing it, and that in time I will feel better. Words will flow and things will get done. Being with people will feel easy again and I will be able to lift and carry and eat without thinking of my back or my stomach.
This morning I watched a snail crawl up the window beside my bed. There were raindrops from last nights storm and as she moved so gracefully and effortlessly up the glass, she seemed to drink each water drop that she encountered. She didn’t go looking for it, but accepted what was there.
I thought how badly we treat snails and how beautiful they are when seen through glass, against the backdrop of wild flowers and a new day. For those moments she gave me the ability to just be present, in touch with the miracle of life in all its forms.
When you can’t write exactly what you want – write something anyway.
When you don’t know if anyone is there who wants to read it – write anyway.
When you haven’t got a clue what is happening – write something anyway and let it go.
Photographs and words are all ways we try to grasp the wind and so in part they are bound to fail, but at the same time, they give form to something that is utterly intangible – life.
Writing about the Camino is turning out to be harder than I expected. I don’t normally get writer’s block but something has stopped me up till now.
So let me write something quick and easy tonight – right now – without worrying too much about it or trying to get it ‘right’. I’m going to answer a few questions that people have asked me, dealing with practicalities. Let’s see what comes out.
Where did you sleep?
there were three people snoring in this room
All along the Camino there are albergues, hostels run either by the church, by the local councils, or by private individuals. The private ones are slightly more expensive but only by a few euros. Generally you could expect to sleep in an albergue for 6-8 euros a night. Your bed will be in a dormitory unless you pay extra for a smaller room. The dormitories will have anything from 6 to 30 bunk beds and the rooms can be modern, clean and light or dingy, dark and cramped. It is best to get a lower bunk especially if you tend to need the toilet in the middle of the night.
Snorers are the main problem in albergues. We are not talking here about gentle snoring but it is almost inevitable that there will be at least one incredibly loud snorting, grunting, choking, room-vibrating snorer in every dormitory you visit. So you carry ear-plugs and you try to get to sleep before they do, and you practise loving-compassion and you accept that some nights you will be tossing and turning.
HOT TIP : push the earplugs deep into your ears
How easy is it to get vegetarian food on the Camino?
Albergue VerdiSan Bol Albergue
It’s not easy in most places but the bigger cities have greater variety of food. Every day there is tortilla – a thick omelette with potato and onion. But this is often what you eat at lunch time or in a walking break. You have to find something else in the evenings or just have tapas. Many but not all albergues have kitchens but remember that if you want to cook for yourself you may have to buy excess food and leave it behind.
HOT TIP : making friends on the Camino means that you can share cooking in the evenings so a bag of rice or pasta will do for 10 people and a new bottle of oil will be useful for everyone not just you.
The best food I had was in Albergue Verdi in Hospital de Órbigo. The volunteers who work there were professional chefs and all the food was vegetarian and often grown in the garden outside. And we had a delicious soup at the Albergue at San Bol at the beginning of the Meseta.
Was your backpack hard to carry?
All I need is on my back
Absolutely not at all.
I am a professional lazy walker and often rely on Pep to carry things when we go out hiking. I always imagined that because I have asthma it would be too hard to also carry a heavy bag. But on the Camino I carried my 7kg pack every day and hardly ever felt it to be a burden. On the one day it was uncomfortable, someone suggested I empty and repack it. This redistribution of weight transformed it from a heavy load to a feather light friend. I loved having all my stuff with me and enjoyed feeling I was carrying my own things. This was part of the freedom I felt – all I needed was on my back.
Did you meet interesting people?
Pilgrims but not walkers on the Camino
On the first part of the Camino which we started at Pamplona, I felt quite shy about meeting people. I was with my little group and although we didn’t usually walk together we had company for lunch and at night. It took me time to get used to the easy-going chatty atmosphere of the Camino. By the time we reached Santo Domingo de la Calzada I had met a few people I felt easy with and from then on I found more and more friends.
Of course it’s easy for extroverts but don’t worry if you are more introvert, people are friendlier and more relaxed as the road winds on. I remember the couple who walked hand in hand the whole way – they were returning to walk the Camino together after meeting there the year before. I remember the woman from Peru who was carrying her father’s ashes to Finisterre because he had died before he could walk the Camino himself. There was a young shy German lad who held back from a communal dinner so I suggested we sit together because I also felt awkward at these times. Everyone started singing popular songs like Blowing in the Wind and suddenly his amazing and powerful voice rang out over the dinner table. He was a professional tenor. I promised to sing him a song in Catalan when we next met. But we never did meet again.
Singing at dinner
People come and go. We all walk at different speeds and unexpected things happen. Just as you get to know and like someone, you say goodbye one day fully expecting to see them again and then, they disappear over the horizon.
HOT TIP : If you meet people you like then get their emails or Facebook details early on and don’t assume you will find them again the next day.
HOT TIP : Don’t rush getting to know people. A lot of people talk about having a Camino Family but it all takes time to settle down. It is a long walk – there’s lots of time.
What problems did you face?
Of course there are also people you don’t like too much or who you find irritating. This was one of the special things about the Camino for me. I really tried to open to everyone and to notice myself when I started judging others. When I could remember to see everyone as if they were offering me a mirror to my own personality then I felt much easier. The main people that drove me mad were those invisible unknown women who left toilet tissue along the path after they had stopped to pee and those who threw their banana skins on the edge of the road. It was possible to walk for hours while fuming about this but when I noticed myself spoiling my own day in this way, I got out my plastic gloves and a bag and began to pick up all that I could see. I became the litter warrior and it turned into one of my happiest days.
Camino Warrior
HOT TIP : Even if you think banana skins and orange peel are organic, they actually take two or three years to decompose so it is still litter and leaves a lasting blot on the beautiful landscape. Take a bag and carry your rubbish.
I had many other problems including my encounter with a bed-bug, my blisters, and the tendinitis that eventually stopped my walk. I felt very emotional a lot of the time and had days when I laughed, cried and sang in quick succession. In my memory though the strongest thing that stays with me is the feeling of incredible happiness to be walking, to be free, to be out in nature, and to be doing something that I have dreamt of for so many years.
From the Camino de Santiago and also back here writing again after a few weeks of silence.
There is so much happening that I hardly know where to start so I will just dive in and let it flow.
I had to stop walking when I reached Astorga because of tendinitis in my right foot. This was a surprise as my old tendon problem was on the left side and this problem was new. I spent five days in a hotel in Astorga trying to get better but even after ice, rest, painkillers, acupuncture, massage, stretching and lots of love, it was still impossible to put my weight on it so I caught a direct train home to Barcelona. I had walked 445 kilometres.
While I was in Astorga I had time to read news on the internet and that was when I found out that an American woman had gone missing on the Camino. She was last seen on April 5th in Astorga – a couple of weeks before I arrived there – and her brother had raised the alarm after hearing nothing from her for a long time. Since then there has been a massive police search of the area and several disturbing stories have appeared about women being threatened on this part of the Camino. Denise – the American pilgrim – is still missing.
Perhaps this sounds weird but I am sort of thanking my foot that it stopped me from walking alone on that stretch of road where she disappeared. And I am checking every day for news of her. It’s very very sad and worrying.
I came back to Granollers and found that somehow, almost without knowing it, I had made a big decision.
We are going to live in Cornwall for a year.
How do you make a decision without knowing that it is happening?
If you have read this blog since the beginning you will probably know several important things about my life here in Catalunya.
Firstly that I have never felt completely at home in Granollers. While I have been happy here I never felt the house where we live is my real home, mainly because it isn’t!
Secondly that one of the major challenges I have faced here is being a reluctant stepmother to an equally reluctant stepson. There has always been tension in the house ranging from awkwardness to outright hostility.
I still have my house in Cornwall and last summer when I was visiting I felt a strong need to get it back. Why have a beautiful home in a fabulous place and not be able to live in it? My tenant left in May and somehow, without really planning to do it, I am going back. I never really tied up all my loose ends in Cornwall and now I want to go back and sort things out.
But what about the Resident Adolescent? Not so likely that he would want to join us in the Cornish countryside, far from the city lights and his musical interests. Then something amazing happened – his mother returned from Brazil and she is going to work in London. He will go with her. He wants to go!
Isn’t it incredible how something that felt so stuck and impossible to resolve can suddenly start to flow, like a river that had been iced over for winter and begins to melt in the spring warmth? First a trickle of change and then it gathers pace and suddenly there is such a strong current that all you can do is let go and be carried along, hopefully exhilarated by the ride rather than clinging on for dear life or frantically trying to paddle back upstream.
Does the Camino de Santiago really change your life?
It seems that it can and in rather unexpected ways. I am still rather stunned which is why I haven’t written anything here. On Sunday I am having a party here in Granollers – in the top flat which we only recently decorated as part of an other attempt to make me feel at home. It was going to be a Camino celebration party but now it seems like a farewell. I can’t even tell you how I am feeling – all I know is that a change had to happen and I am happy to see what comes next.
Now that I have this news out in the open I can return next time with stories from the Camino. It was a wonderful experience and I want to write about it.
Also I have two more incredible balnearis to describe to you – one that we visited last week for my birthday.
And lastly, plans for the future of The Catalan Way. What will I be writing about when I am no longer living here?
All coming soon. Exciting times. Thanks as always for reading!
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live abroad?
This is one in a series of interviews with people who came from other countries to live in Catalunya. I asked them the same questions that people often ask me to see what different stories emerge. You can read them here over the next weeks.
MICHAEL’S STORY
And remember that Catalunya is not Spain!
Tell us a bit about yourself
I’m an English teacher living in Barcelona, married to a Catalan and bringing up our child here.
How long have you lived here?
13 years
Are you working here and if yes, what do you do?
Yes, I’m an English teacher.
Three favourite things about living here?
Enjoying my family, my life and being a parent here. Enjoying the climate and the virtually permanent sunshine. Eating good healthy food and the whole experience of shopping and cooking fresh food (the clichéd Mediterranean diet).
Three things you don’t like about life here?
Corrupt fascist politics, politicians and businessmen. Pickpockets and the lax laws that make it easy for them to operate with virtual impunity. Mass tourism and the failure of the the city authorities to prevent Barcelona city centre from becoming a theme park (or perhaps that is in fact their goal).
What do you miss most about your ‘home’ country?
Being closer to my parents and family, and not being able to be there for them in times of need. The countryside, national parks and the smells and senses of being immersed in them. Being able to visit places I love with ease and frequency (ie. I can still visit from here, but the time I spend when I’m there has a premium to it which means I have to prioritise and therefore never get to do some of the things I love).
Three things you have learned about yourself or life since living in Catalunya?
That I can make it here, survive a new way of living, and come to love it. Many things unrelated to having moved here, but more to do with greater experience, wisdom, family and parenting, and having the privilege of living with a child and sharing their experience of discovering their world. That I had to stop eating croissants, ‘cos my cholesterol went through the roof!
What language(s) do you speak in your daily life here?
English and Spanish, whilst receiving but not producing Catalan.
Do you plan to return to your native country and in what circumstances would you definitely want to go back?
If I go back it’ll be related to caring for my parents, but not really for any other reason.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving to this country?
Take it easy! Don’t expect your own standards of efficiency or punctuality, equal opportunities (don’t exist) or health and safety (what’s that?). Give yourself more time than you expected to have to, to soak it all up and find your place here. Learn about Catalonia and remember that “Catalonia is not Spain” is not a tacky slogan, it’s a reality. Enjoy the adventure!
Have you read all six interviews? Were there any questions you would have asked these people about their experiences? Do let us know in the comments and I will try to do a follow-up later in the year.
This post is scheduled to be the final interview for the moment but I have some more people who would like to join in with their stories so perhaps later this year I will make space for some more. It would be interesting to hear from more men, and from people from different countries or who have been living here for many more years. Let me know if you would like to contibute.
Meanwhile, follow my posts by signing up to receive them directly to your inbox and for more photos and information about Catalunya, click LIKE on the facebook page.
Thank you so much for your support and for visiting my blog
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in Catalunya?
Or just to move abroad?
This is one in a series of interviews with people who came from other countries to live here. I asked them the same questions that people often ask me to see what different stories emerge. You can read them here over the next weeks.
Oreneta’s Story
Please tell us a bit about yourself ?
I’m a Mom, a Sailor and adventurer, a traveller and a teacher. Oops, that’s most of it in one. I love a challenge and I love to relax, though I don’t get to enough.
How long have you lived here?
8.5 years.
Are you working here and if yes, what do you do?
Whew! yes indeedy! I have 4 jobs here, mostly though I teach English and I parent and I wife.
Three favourite things about living in Catalunya?
People, weather/food tied.
Three things you don’t like about life here?
The economy, the politicians, the corruption (see 1 and 2)
What do you miss most about your ‘home’ country?
Friends, family, wider range of food cultures
Three things you have learned about yourself or life since living here?
Geez. I still stink at learning languages, I still have tremendous stamina (good thing too that) and I still love my husband, all good.
What language(s) do you speak in your daily life here?
English and Catalan
Do you plan to return to your native country and in what circumstances would you definitely want to go back?
At some point, probably, we return every year for 2.5 months, and would like to continue to do so. If the economy melts down here or the politics get too firey, we’d move on.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving to this country?
Make sure you’ve got your financial ducks all lined up, cause the job market is terrible.
This is the first in a series of interviews which I will be posting over the next few weeks. While walking the Camino my plan is to add another interview each week and also send short updates from my phone on how the walk to Santiago de Compostella is going.
Sign up in one of the subscription boxes on this page to get all these posts delivered straight to your inbox. More news from the Camino will be sent to The Catalan Way Facebook page so click a Like on there and you can follow my progress.
Are there any questions you would ask someone about what their life is like after moving to an new country? Let us know in the comments and we will try to get some answers for an updated post later this year.
