Remember what I said about the new cat in town getting perspective by going up high?
We happened to pass St Buryan church when the tower was open to visitors.
It’s a beautiful climb up the spiral staircase and then some amazing views from the roof.
I remember that when I first arrived in Granollers I liked to climb up to the Torre to look out over the town and beyond to the mountains.
Phoenix jumps up to the large storage shelf above the bathroom every time she feels scared.
Today we sat on a bench high up on the cliff looking down on Gwenver Beach
And here is the view from St Buryan church tower
I started the day feeling tired and heavy, wanting to stay in bed to avoid all the worries and the feeling of overwhelm about all there is to do here.
But after climbing up high, getting a different perspective, I end the day feeling much more peaceful and positive. It’s quite interesting to see how it really does change your view of life.
We got back from Portsmouth at 5am. Slept till about 11am and then drifted around in a woozy dream. About 8pm we decided to have another sleep and although I intended to get up again and write a post – I didn’t wake again until 6am this morning.
However, I did take photos yesterday of Phoenix’ first day in Cornwall.
How does a cat behave when exploring a new home?
She drops to the ground if there is an unfamiliar sound
She explores in ever-increasing circles from the safe base of home
She seeks out camouflage
She gets up high to gain perspective
She uses her special abilities – such as walking down a vertical surface
She is balanced and poised at all times Then at the end of the day, she finds the best place to sleep
She has been travelling for four days. Mostly in the car but also in a private cabin on the crossing from Le Havre to Portsmouth.
Phoenix was a street kitten in a small village in Catalunya. She was managing by herself by the time she was 6 weeks old, sleeping in car engines and eating what she could find.
Now her new life starts in Dolphin Cottage. Country smells, birds chatter, the feel of the breeze in her fur and a huge expanse of green land to explore. This is to be her new queendom.
She is used to wearing the harness – it only took a little time and patience to get her to feel comfortable with it and this made her journey and her first steps outdoors easier and more relaxed for all concerned.
She’s a good reminder that no matter how your life begins – wonderful things can happen. And surprises are always just around the corner.
When you face a new life remember the advice of a travelling cat
Man and cat have travelled all the way from Granollers, through France and hopefully soon to come over the Channel from Le Havre to Portsmouth, arriving late this evening.
So I am going to meet them and help with the last leg of a long journey to their new home. He’ll have to get used to driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road soon but today, he can take a well deserved rest.
Looking out the window I think about the changes they will face.
One of which is The Weather!
All through July and August there have been sunny days but there have been many more windy and wet ones.
August 5th Lamorna
Interestingly when I directed my Skype camera out of the window I got the response
“How green it is!”
August 5th Lamorna
And that made me think of how you can concentrate on the gray sky or on the green grass. I don’t like to complain about the weather and I have been trying to keep a smiling face so as not to be a returning traveller who moans about the British weather. But it has started to get to me.
However, from now on I will be seeing the green all around me. It is true that when the sun shines all summer in Catalunya, everything turns a bit brown.
This is crazy – I want to write but it all feels too complicated to explain.
So here is my promise – I will write something in here every day for the rest of August and even if it’s short…..or boring…..or totally irrelevant……it will get me going again!
And to get me started here is a photo diary of the last few weeks.
Wild flowers in the little garden behind the cabinMy furniture arrives from Spain! I felt a bit silly for having sent it south three years ago but I suppose you can’t always know what the future holds and I did get (some) use from it.After spending three weeks in Cornwall I went back to Catalunya once more! This time feeling relaxed enough to spend time enjoying the sunshineAnd even more importantly to spend time with my favourite little friend. Stylish as always, here she is wearing a Japanese suit with top and shorts.Summer isn’t complete without regular drinks of HorxataI met my friend Cristina for supper in one of the beach cafes near Barcelona and ended up having a naked moonlit swimBack to Cornwall and there was another party – this one meeting lots of people I only know from an internet photo group. I’m not very good at meeting lots of new people all at once – I struggled a bit I have to admit. But the organiser did a very thoughtful thing and gave each of us little bundles of cards made from our own photos. I think I will get some more made from my photos of GranollersTwice a day the dairy herd crosses this road beside my home. You just have to switch off your engine and enjoy the scene. It’s not an easy life but this herd is well looked after by two Cornish twin brothers. This farm also is home to a large cat colony – the kitten overspill often arrives in neighbouring gardens and garages.Work starts on renewing the sitting-room floor. A large granite slab is revealedMy sister and cousin came to visit and we went for posh fish and chips in St Ives where they were staying for the weekWalking the coast path with a friend and her dog, we came across the wild ponies who live there to keep the grass downCornish sky over Sennen beach. It’s not warm enough to swim yet for me but there is always the hope that you will see dolphins or sealsWork on The Stone continues!I’ve fallen in love with my neighbour’s cat. She was born in a nearby shed, grew up in my garage, went missing with her sister and then finally found her forever home next door. She is one of the farm’s kittens – see above.The Minack Theatre is right on the edge of the cliff. Even if the play isn’t enthralling, the view is always wonderful. I had friends to stay so we went to see Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum. I have to admit spending a lot of time watching the clouds.July’s Blue Moon over the Merry Maidens. I love going there at night but it makes me sad that neither Blue nor Bonnie are here to accompany us. It’s time to get a new dog.This is a view I never get tired of. Just as you drive out of Newlyn on the road to Mousehole there is a place that looks down over the harbour and across to St Michaels Mount. It’s double yellow lines but I often have to stop just for a minute.And lastly the sky again, this time from the James Turrell room in Tremenheere sculpture park.
It’s been a busy time but also a time for contemplation. Friendship, home, illness, loss, dreams, changes, fears, love, time passing. Thank you for visiting!
“I make spaces that apprehend light for our perception, and in some ways gather it, or seem to hold it…my work is more about your seeing than it is about my seeing, although it is a product of my seeing.”
— James Turrell
‘We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive at where we started
And know the place for the first time.’ – T. S. Eliot, Little Gidding
Six years ago on July 15th 2009 I flew to Barcelona and, without really intending to, left home.
Within two weeks I met my partner while dancing in the Pyranees and the next year I moved into his home in a town 30km from Catalunya’s capital city.
From then on I skipped between Catalunya and Cornwall, trying to manage two very different homes.
Trying to feel at Home
I sent over furniture, books, favourite pictures and familiar crockery. I thought that my own things would make me feel at home.
I rented out my Cornish cottage, and arranged for other people to take care of the land. I was letting go while holding on.
We did our best to create a family home in Granollers where we lived with my partner’s adolescent son. The quirky old family house carried a lot of history. We painted and decorated, took holidays, ate meals, entertained visitors, worked side by side on various projects. We tried hard but it still wasn’t my home. I didn’t know why. I blamed myself a lot of the time.
New things were coming in and old things were disappearing. I was no longer working in my profession as an acupuncturist, I was learning both Catalan and Spanish, teaching English, not dancing tango. The struggle to create a positive relationship with my step-son left me feeling like a failure much of the time. It is hard to describe how you can be both happy and unhappy at the same time – that’s why I wrote this blog.
The Catalan Way helped me make sense of all the changes in my life.
‘The impulse for much writing is homesickness. You are trying to get back home, and in your writing you are invoking that home, so you are assuaging the homesickness.’ – Joan Didion
I loved learning about a new culture and meeting so many warm and kind people who opened their hearts to me. I was lucky to find a kindred spirit in Granollers. Her new baby also provided me with a sense of family and someone small to care for. Last year,walking through the streets holding her sleeping in my arms, I realised that I had never before been left to care for a young baby. My heart was often singing.
I felt very alive in Catalunya – awake and present.
But there were difficult times too
I felt ungrounded, awkward with people who didn’t understand my faltering Catalan, tired of always being the strange one, guilty for taking my beloved dogs into a home with no garden and a resident spaniel who attacked Bonnie. I had to learn about step-families and gradually realised that the tension and arguments were totally normal and nothing to do with my own personal failure.
People expect women to magically mother those who don’t want it. I always longed for a child but daily rejection when you have no happy baby memories to call on is a bitter experience. Bonding with a step-child is very difficult and too often women are left alone to fail again and again.
What makes a house into a home?
‘If the day ever comes when they know who
They are, they may know better where they are.’ – Robert Frost, A Cabin in the Clearing
Five things that help us feel at home anywhere
We don’t need all of them, all the time but some of them, most of the time, helps us feel truly at home.
1. Safety – home is a retreat from the outside world and we need to feel safe at home. So we can let down our defenses and relax.
2. Friendship – whether we live alone or with other people, we cannot feel at home if there is too much tension or constant emotional distance. Be your own friend and live with people who wish you well.
3. Creativity – home is a place to be creative and express ourselves. If there is restriction on your creativity, a house won’t feel like home.
4. Solitude – sometimes we need to be alone at home, knowing you won’t be disturbed, so you can relax completely into being who you are.
5. Peace – life is often noisy and disturbing. Living with other people also means noise and disruption and sometimes this is wonderful. But if you live with unwanted noise and intrusion that you can’t escape from, then it is hard to feel at home.
On the Camino I felt at home on the road, and at home in myself. All five of the above requirements were met. In Granollers, in the house, far too often, it was hard to get more than one.
Now, back in Cornwall, I have all five again and as I understand better now what is needed, I hope I can help make this a home for us both.
In case you are wondering, my stepson is going to live with his mother, also going home in one way.
What do you need to feel at home? Have you ever lived in a place where your peace and tranquility were disturbed so much that you wanted to leave?
I remember that when I first arrived in Granollers I liked to climb up to the Torre to look out over the town and beyond to the mountains.
I started the day feeling tired and heavy, wanting to stay in bed to avoid all the worries and the feeling of overwhelm about all there is to do here.
