Personal Reflections

Virtual Vermut

~ Kate Wilson ~ 3 Comments

Welcome to Virtual Vermut – a time to relax and have a drink and a chat. At least I will be chatting and I hope you will join in but I won’t know what you’re saying unless you write in and tell me!

Tonight I am actually going to have a whisky – it’s a bit chilly here for a vermut and ice. Here is Blue guarding the bottle in front of the fire.
If I was sitting here with you I’d probably find it hard to get started. Lots has been going on this week and especially inside my head but I can’t put it into order. I wonder if this is a common experience for people who have moved to another country when they go back ‘home’?
Here is my ‘office’ the only place I can get onto the internet as my neighbour kindly lets me use hers when I am here.

The picture at the top of the stairs is too small. This one would be better…………………

Karen Wade painting
I saw it in an exhibition in Penzance. It’s by Karen Wade and she has her first solo exhibition in the Stoneman Gallery. I was reading Cornwall Today in the dentists waiting room and when I saw photos of these paintings and knew I must go and see them in real life. Only just resisted buying one – now is not the time for splashing out.
My head has been buzzing with plans. I want to move  properly to Catalunya and this means I need to bring my dogs over, including 15 year old Blue. Before that happens I need to sort out my house and that could take a few months – you can’t tie up a life and home in just two weeks…..or I can’t.

While thinking, I have been getting out and about. The weather has been good so I went with a friend to see Surfing Tommies at the Minack theatre. Outside the ticket office there was a forest of echium

That night it was windy and wild with rain showers thankfully only lasting a few minutes. I enjoyed the performance but hit my boredom level at least half an hour before it finished.
But the place is so beautiful it’s easy to forgive almost anything

Bonnie likes to go walking and doesn’t get out so much now so I took her along the coastal path from Mousehole. For once she didn’t bark at the horses and they were too curious to be afraid of dogs

I’m not usually lost for words and really I wonder if you’d be better going to see Bodhi Chicklet straight away to see if she has any vermut or perhaps something stronger.  I am boring myself. All I think about is lists of things to do and  in what order to do them.
This visit I have spoken to two other friends who also have left to make lives in different countries. It’s not just me who finds it hard to get the right balance. Friendships are disrupted, people get miffed, if you have a home you come back to lots of tiddly but awkward maintenance jobs, a mound of mail with nasty surprises and not enough time to sort it all out. You need delicacy and tact when talking about your new life. Too much enthusiasm sounds like you are critisising the old; too much complaining sounds like you’re not grateful. Emotionally it is tiring – everything familiar but also strange. You are here but you are absent.  People want to see you but sometimes, because they miss you, they behave strangely.
Sometimes animals are easier. Cats are especially relaxing.  Dandelion – the best cat in the world.

Apart from all this I’d like to tell you that I have been thinking about my other home and about what is happening in Plaça Catalunya and feeling sad that these peaceful and creative protests almost always end up being violently disrupted. What is this force in the world that needs to be in control and is willing to hurt others in the process? Nothing on the TV news but plenty on the internet.
I’m wondering how my Catalan is doing, buried deep under a thick layer of English now. Hope it is just gathering strength for next week and will emerge stronger and more fluent.
And lastly – tomorrow – I will be watching the football. I wish I could be over there but at least I’ll be able to understand the commentary. Good luck Barça!
See you next week and thank you for listening.

Virtual Vermut

~ Kate Wilson ~ 8 Comments

So at last we can sit down for a virtual vermut. It’s sunny and hot and I want to enjoy it to the full as I am off to Cornwall again on Wednesday and someone told me it’s cold there!
Sorry about Friday – I don’t know what happened with the blog site but it was impossible to get online. But my friend Bodhi Chicklet was ready with a bottle of bubbly on the right day so I hope you went over there instead!
So much of life seems dependent on technology now and it can really wind me up – only a few years ago these things didn’t exist and I don’t like feeling so vulnerable to the whim of the airwaves. Perhaps they are the new God – we don’t understand them but we try to please them and hope they won’t suddenly knock us to the ground.
I have the feeling that I keep up, but only just. I can’t get my phone to send pictures by email – something which would evoke derisive laughter from the Resident Adolescent, if I dared to ask him for help! And now yet again my  whiteboard drawings are stuck on the phone and I can’t send them here. Not even by Bluetooth……which I am quite proud of knowing about. It still fills me with awe that I can press a couple of buttons and music or a photo will just invisibly move from one machine to another.
If this is how I am at age 54 then how will it be in ten years time?
54 – yes, it was my birthday at the weekend and we went to the Costa Brava.  Sometimes I feel like an innocent abroad, a wide-eyed child who still jumps up and down with delight

I still get a thrill from words like Costa Brava, Mediterranean, Barcelona…..I have to pinch myself that I am here. Must be all those years living in rainy cold climates huffing with asthma and being buffetted by sharp winds. By the way, do you see those small beginnings of muscles on my arms? That’s the gym starting to work……more on that later.

So, when I see a vegetable market I HAVE to look round the stalls

And after shopping, I HAVE to have a coffee on the terrace of a cafe.
The sight of a pastisseria makes me HAVE to eat a cake

and when I find a beach with  sparkling blue green Mediterranean waves, I HAVE to swim

The taste of Orxata makes me swoon although I could have it every day if I wanted

Duna came too and enjoyed the sea, drinking it by the bucket after a long hot walk with the inevitable consequences later that night

Talking of markets and my excitement when I see one – I took these photos in Granollers last Thursday. I love this one of the men’s arms stretching across a sea of fruit and vegetables

These aubergines looked like a painting

Talking of arms…….I don’t know what to do about Golds Gym. I had a really good session last week and also a more tense one. Depending on who is in charge there is music on Flashfm or a combination of videos and music on CD.  If there are videos you get the opportunity to study at close range some of the fantasies of the men in the room. I don’t think you really want to know about this in detail. Perhaps another day I’ll tell you more. But sometimes I am so glad that I am probably the only person in the room who understands the words of the songs!
After one of these not-so-nice sessions I girded my loins to return on Thursday – only the promise that ‘running will make the weight drop off you’ makes me go on days like these. When I arrived the place was almost empty. No videos, no pumping muscles, no stern unsmiling faces to greet me at the door. I did my running – more than 20 minutes straight through. When you get on a roll it feels like you could go on for ever. Like you get into a groove and it carries you along.
No sign yet of ‘the weight dropping off’ me though.
Then, for the first time ever, another woman, who wasn’t Tiffany, walked in. Ok she didn’t look at me or smile and she was young beautiful and slim and dark. But somehow I felt the presence of more oestrogen in the room and it made me relax. I ran another 15 minutes before leaving with more of a strut than my usual scuttle to the door.
When you arrive in the gym this picture greets you

– after that it is all sweat and iron, noise and boys.
Hope to see you next week. We might have to make it a virtual gin and tonic? Not sure where to get vermut in Penzance.

Virtual Vermut

~ Kate Wilson ~ 6 Comments

It would be wonderful if we could meet up for a vermut today. For one thing the weather is beautiful. It is sunny and warm and the chilly wind has gone at last.
I could suggest a cafe in the Porxada but it is always quite busy there and to be honest today I would like some peace and quiet. This morning as I passed through the square there were hordes of children and inside the old market were rows and rows of tables with chess boards on top. A chess tournament was about to get going but I couldn’t stop to see what happened next.

I’d love to sit and have a relaxed drink in the sunshine but today I think I would let you do the talking. I am a bit tired – not physically but something about this Spring is wearying me. My head is full of questions and problems and although my brain tries to find solutions and to make plans for the future somehow the next day the same old things go round and round. I’m on a merry go round and can’t get off yet.
I’ve been thinking about acupuncture recently and how much I miss it. It was good to have a break – almost two years!!! – but now I want to get started again. I find myself thinking about the Five Elements and trying to make sense of what is happening in my life by using them as a guide.
For example, it is Spring and this is the time for making plans and thinking about the future. What are your objectives in the next week –  month – year? The organ associated with this is the Liver and this energy is very powerful – it is what makes life pulse with expectation and hope. It is what helps us grow and change and keep flexible in our lives.
But, I seem a little stuck this Spring. There are plans and there are hopes and dreams but I don’t know how to bring them into reality. I don’t know which direction to take. I am dithering and swithering.
I swing between optimism and bleakness. It’s not very comfortable!  Yesterday I stuck some needles in the Liver points so we will see what happens next.

So, I will continue to walk the path by the river looking at the little plants that grow in this unwelcoming environment, listen to the birds as they get things together for nest building and mating, continue going to the gym so that my energy doesn’t stagnate totally and just Hope and Trust.

I think Bodhi Chicklet has a bottle of vodka open so do pop over there and see what she is doing.
She’s always good for a laugh as well which is more than I can say for myself these days!

Virtual Vermut

~ Kate Wilson ~ 9 Comments
 It’s not the day for sitting out on a terrace watching the world go by. It’s a bit cold actually!
So let’s drink our Vermut inside while I tell you what’s going on for me. I hope to hear your news too – in your own virtual vermut post or here in the comments.
Let’s start with the weather – it is what I call a Cornish day. Grey sky, rain threatening but never getting on with it. Perfect for our run this morning although the chilly wind made the outbound trip hard going.  When I started running I had to overcome my belief that running is for tall lanky people. But just a little each day and suddenly I can do 20 minutes without falling in a panting heap at the end. There is something very satisfying about the sound of your feet as they hit the ground and the way your body finds its own rhythm.
Fear of more kidney stones means I always carry water which is a nuisance as it sloshes around in the bottle. Also any part of my body which can wobble – does, and that feels uncomfortable at first. But like many things which are hard to start – after you get going, the going gets better. There were some lovely flowers down by the river as well as the swallows swooping low over the little allotments.
Then I had a short introductory session of Trapeze. Again, not something you expect of me but this getting older thing is beginning to worry me so I am trying to do more new things.   I did a headstand and then some swinging by my arms on a trapeze. Finally kicking my legs up and hooking them around the bar and, before I could think too much about it, I let go with my hands and ended up head down to the floor. All the recent abdominal exercises must be helping as you need those to get yourself back up again!
Of course I was helped and held by Pep so it wasn’t so hard. Sorry no photos as I couldn’t spare him to take one at the vital moments so you will have to believe me.
My Vermut is finished now – perhaps another little one?
The reason the weather is concerning me is that tomorrow is Sant Jordi and the streets will be full of stalls selling books and roses. It could easily be a disaster if it rains all day. It is a sort of Catalan St Valentine and so much nicer.  Roses and books – perfect presents of love.
Which reminds me – I have almost finished reading The Cathedral by the Sea in Catalan and I am now actively enjoying it. It feels like a huge achievement to have got through it and I can see how much more I know now than I did at the beginning. Also as the action happens in the streets in Barcelona Old Town it is interesting to imagine the events – the building of the church, the merchants working in Canvis Nous, the Jewish quarter in the Call where terrible things happened, the big houses in Montcada where the rich people lived.

But what else can I tell you?

After the run we came home to the usual loud music in the living room which sometimes drives me to find quiet corners of retreat. Common tunes are Love is a Gamble, I am a Bitch, I Want You to Take Over Control and Tonight I will Fuck You. When I am in better humour I just relax and dance to the beat! I think of my mother and how she kept up interest in our music. But wasn’t it easier with Del Shannon, The Beach Boys and David Bowie?
After lunch a troupe of young men arrived to play music out in the back. I was looking forward to seeing them sidle spottily though the lounge looking embarrassed and reminding me of Kevin in the TV series. But the Resident Adolescent scuppered that plan by greeting them at the front door and sending them round to the back entrance.  You have to be tactically very skilled to win a battle in this war!

Well, time has flown by and I must start my Catalan homework.
Hope to see you next week if we both can make it!

Where to Live?

~ Kate Wilson ~ 4 Comments

We went up to Montseny again today to give a friend a lift to her old home in the hills. Everywhere I go at the moment leads to thoughts about where we can live. Where can we find a home with a garden? Do we want to be near the sea? In the mountains? Close to Granollers? Is it best to buy or rent? What about the boy?
And so on and so on…..
Nice place today with friendly cats, a national footpath going past the garden, beautiful views over the vallley and beds of iris. But it wasn’t a possibe home, just a chance to dream

To get there you drive up a windy road and then along bumpy unmade tracks.  It is quite isolated although there are some other houses which are only visited at weekends.  There is a river running down the hill with beautiful pools and waterfalls.
Duna was ecstatic – how much she wants to live somewhere more in nature!

It’s good to imagine Blue and Bonnie and Duna sleeping happily on the terrace while we potter in the garden, make things and listen to the birds.  But for the moment it is only a dream