Return to Catalunya

October 14, 2015 ~ Kate Wilson ~ 6 Comments

After a few months of work on the house on Cornwall the day arrived when I flew back to Barcelona.

I was really in two minds about the journey – both wanting to see my friends and to be present for Lydia’s second birthday, and also finding it hard to leave Cornwall just when the building works were coming to an end.

And also I was leaving my lovely man behind in a foreign – to him – land.

I had been sleeping badly for the last month and so just the idea of the journey was daunting. I had a tic in one eye and an anxious knot in my stomach.

So it was with great relief that I arrived in Barcelona airport and felt immediately that warm comforting feeling of gladness at arriving in a familiar and loved place.

Went past Fernando Botero’s lovely Horse with a happy smile

Straight into the station bar for a beer and a piece of truita accompanied by pa amb tomaquet. I always feel ridiculously proud to have a train ticket already. I don’t see myself as that organised really.

Since being here I have stayed with friends in Granollers and felt so much at home that I got ill and spent a few days in bed! Thank you Tiffany, Albert, Jett and Lydia for looking after me and being so patient!

I went to Barcelona to see friends and even bumped into someone on the metro – someone I hadn’t seen in over a year. Coincidences always feel good.

I love walking around the streets in the Gotic area. The main ones are busy with tourists but turn a corner and it is quiet and atmospheric

Amma was in Granollers once again and I spent three days there soaking in the atmosphere

listening to the music, and eating far too many masala dosas.

I have been back to the old house.

It feels strange to be there again and to walk around the quiet rooms. I have been kicking myself for not taking all my things back to the UK when I had the chance. But it’s not always easy to make that sort of decision is it? To leave a part behind, just in case, feels somehow reassuring. And perhaps I will be back one day. Who knows?

Meanwhile I took everything of mine and put it in one room – a motley collection of books, pictures and my own sculptures. I realised how much I want everything to be at last in one place. But I also had to accept that unless I cancel my flight and drive back in the Spanish car, for the moment, it’s not possible.

I realised that Granollers feels more like home than Barcelona. That’s funny isn’t it? In spite of the pollution and the commercialism and the air of small town complacency, I like it here. It feels familiar and calm. And there are some very nice cafes

Things to feel good about

I can still speak Catalan

I can drive my car with confidence and I know the way without a map

In the six years I lived here I met some wonderful people and have some great friends.

After arriving in Barcelona on the train within two minutes someone was asking me directions, in Spanish. Obviously I have something about me that generates confidence in my friendliness and my knowledge. This only happens in Barcelona. But it happens every time I go there.

And there are the balnearis

I have been to two on this visit. One old familiar and one totally new.

That needs a whole post to itself so I will say goodbye now and be back again very shortly with a descriptions of those.

I had to write this post first – coming back is such a strange mix of familiarity and strangeness. It is a good moment to look at where you are and what has been learned but also it gives you a sense of the passage of time and the anxiety at the root of so many decisions. For me there is always a pull in two directions – to move forward or to stay where I am. To go out or to snuggle in at home. To advance or retreat. Something works in me to get me out and moving but I often have to deal with fear before I can get going.

Moving to Catalunya in the first place, then living here for six years, then going back to Cornwall, and now coming back for two weeks……it all feels quite strange and perhaps not a surprise that I got ill and had to stop for a rest.

Do you know what I mean? Do let me know in the comments if you have felt this too.

Where are you going?

September 12, 2015 ~ Kate Wilson ~ Leave a comment

Hello.

I can’t let today slip by without mentioning that there have been some big developments recently.

Not so much in my life which continues much as before as we work on the house and start to build a new life here in Cornwall.

But yesterday there was another huge demonstration of Catalan solidarity and passion. Meridiana is the long diagonal road that cuts across Barcelona and on September 11th it was filled with people, calling for independence and for Catalunya to be a nation in its own right. Somewhere between one and a half and two million people were there!

Today the people’s choice, Jeremy Corbyn was elected as Labour leader. In spite of a vicious media campaign against him and attacks from within his own party, he came across as humane, honest, authentic and courageous. And people came out in support of him – hundreds of thousands of them.

Including me!

Then there was the terribly sad news that a body has been found near the Camino de Santiago which is presumed to be that of Denise Thiem. A man has been arrested who was living slightly off the path that leads from Astorga to Santa Catalina. I feel such a strange mixture of relief that at last we have news and also grief for her and for her family. I imagine anyone who has walked the Camino will be affected by this news – it casts a long shadow on what felt bright and clear.

There are days which slip by and you live life almost in a dream. These last two days have not been like that. Things that have seemed to be locked in slow motion have suddenly come to an end. Or they have reached a point of change that feels like one thing has ended and another has begun.

I am not going to make any more promises about writing here more often. It just seems hard to do it justice at the moment. But even when I am not writing here – I do think about you and about what I will write when the time is right.

There is so much change happening all around us now – and a great need to make decisions about where you are going, what you are doing and with whom?

Don’t you think so?

How to Feel At Home – anywhere

July 12, 2015 ~ Kate Wilson ~ 6 Comments

‘We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive at where we started
And know the place for the first time.’
– T. S. Eliot, Little Gidding

Six years ago on July 15th 2009 I flew to Barcelona and, without really intending to, left home.

Within two weeks I met my partner while dancing in the Pyranees and the next year I moved into his home in a town 30km from Catalunya’s capital city.

From then on I skipped between Catalunya and Cornwall, trying to manage two very different homes.

Trying to feel at Home

I sent over furniture, books, favourite pictures and familiar crockery. I thought that my own things would make me feel at home.

My two dogs Bonnie and Blue came to live with us. Home had to be where my dogs were.

I rented out my Cornish cottage, and arranged for other people to take care of the land. I was letting go while holding on.

We did our best to create a family home in Granollers where we lived with my partner’s adolescent son. The quirky old family house carried a lot of history. We painted and decorated, took holidays, ate meals, entertained visitors, worked side by side on various projects. We tried hard but it still wasn’t my home. I didn’t know why. I blamed myself a lot of the time.

New things were coming in and old things were disappearing. I was no longer working in my profession as an acupuncturist, I was learning both Catalan and Spanish, teaching English, not dancing tango. The struggle to create a positive relationship with my step-son left me feeling like a failure much of the time. It is hard to describe how you can be both happy and unhappy at the same time – that’s why I wrote this blog.

The Catalan Way helped me make sense of all the changes in my life.

‘The impulse for much writing is homesickness. You are trying to get back home, and in your writing you are invoking that home, so you are assuaging the homesickness.’
– Joan Didion

There have been so many beautiful days

Hundreds of wonderful new experiences like camping on the Delta d’Ebre, swimming in hot mineral waters, walking the ancient tracks and lanes of Minorca.

I loved learning about a new culture and meeting so many warm and kind people who opened their hearts to me. I was lucky to find a kindred spirit in Granollers. Her new baby also provided me with a sense of family and someone small to care for. Last year,walking through the streets holding her sleeping in my arms, I realised that I had never before been left to care for a young baby. My heart was often singing.

I felt very alive in Catalunya – awake and present.

But there were difficult times too

I felt ungrounded, awkward with people who didn’t understand my faltering Catalan, tired of always being the strange one, guilty for taking my beloved dogs into a home with no garden and a resident spaniel who attacked Bonnie. I had to learn about step-families and gradually realised that the tension and arguments were totally normal and nothing to do with my own personal failure.

People expect women to magically mother those who don’t want it. I always longed for a child but daily rejection when you have no happy baby memories to call on is a bitter experience. Bonding with a step-child is very difficult and too often women are left alone to fail again and again.

What makes a house into a home?

‘If the day ever comes when they know who
They are, they may know better where they are.’
– Robert Frost, A Cabin in the Clearing

Five things that help us feel at home anywhere

We don’t need all of them, all the time but some of them, most of the time, helps us feel truly at home.

1. Safety – home is a retreat from the outside world and we need to feel safe at home. So we can let down our defenses and relax.

2. Friendship – whether we live alone or with other people, we cannot feel at home if there is too much tension or constant emotional distance. Be your own friend and live with people who wish you well.

3. Creativity – home is a place to be creative and express ourselves. If there is restriction on your creativity, a house won’t feel like home.

4. Solitude – sometimes we need to be alone at home, knowing you won’t be disturbed, so you can relax completely into being who you are.

5. Peace – life is often noisy and disturbing. Living with other people also means noise and disruption and sometimes this is wonderful. But if you live with unwanted noise and intrusion that you can’t escape from, then it is hard to feel at home.

On the Camino I felt at home on the road, and at home in myself. All five of the above requirements were met. In Granollers, in the house, far too often, it was hard to get more than one.

Now, back in Cornwall, I have all five again and as I understand better now what is needed, I hope I can help make this a home for us both.

In case you are wondering, my stepson is going to live with his mother, also going home in one way.

What do you need to feel at home? Have you ever lived in a place where your peace and tranquility were disturbed so much that you wanted to leave?

After the Camino de Santiago

May 22, 2015 ~ Kate Wilson ~ 6 Comments

Hello. I’m back!

From the Camino de Santiago and also back here writing again after a few weeks of silence.

There is so much happening that I hardly know where to start so I will just dive in and let it flow.

I had to stop walking when I reached Astorga because of tendinitis in my right foot. This was a surprise as my old tendon problem was on the left side and this problem was new. I spent five days in a hotel in Astorga trying to get better but even after ice, rest, painkillers, acupuncture, massage, stretching and lots of love, it was still impossible to put my weight on it so I caught a direct train home to Barcelona. I had walked 445 kilometres.

While I was in Astorga I had time to read news on the internet and that was when I found out that an American woman had gone missing on the Camino. She was last seen on April 5th in Astorga – a couple of weeks before I arrived there – and her brother had raised the alarm after hearing nothing from her for a long time. Since then there has been a massive police search of the area and several disturbing stories have appeared about women being threatened on this part of the Camino. Denise – the American pilgrim – is still missing.

Perhaps this sounds weird but I am sort of thanking my foot that it stopped me from walking alone on that stretch of road where she disappeared. And I am checking every day for news of her. It’s very very sad and worrying.

I came back to Granollers and found that somehow, almost without knowing it, I had made a big decision.

We are going to live in Cornwall for a year.

How do you make a decision without knowing that it is happening?

If you have read this blog since the beginning you will probably know several important things about my life here in Catalunya.

Firstly that I have never felt completely at home in Granollers. While I have been happy here I never felt the house where we live is my real home, mainly because it isn’t!

Secondly that one of the major challenges I have faced here is being a reluctant stepmother to an equally reluctant stepson. There has always been tension in the house ranging from awkwardness to outright hostility.

I still have my house in Cornwall and last summer when I was visiting I felt a strong need to get it back. Why have a beautiful home in a fabulous place and not be able to live in it? My tenant left in May and somehow, without really planning to do it, I am going back. I never really tied up all my loose ends in Cornwall and now I want to go back and sort things out.

But what about the Resident Adolescent? Not so likely that he would want to join us in the Cornish countryside, far from the city lights and his musical interests. Then something amazing happened – his mother returned from Brazil and she is going to work in London. He will go with her. He wants to go!

Isn’t it incredible how something that felt so stuck and impossible to resolve can suddenly start to flow, like a river that had been iced over for winter and begins to melt in the spring warmth? First a trickle of change and then it gathers pace and suddenly there is such a strong current that all you can do is let go and be carried along, hopefully exhilarated by the ride rather than clinging on for dear life or frantically trying to paddle back upstream.

Does the Camino de Santiago really change your life?

It seems that it can and in rather unexpected ways. I am still rather stunned which is why I haven’t written anything here. On Sunday I am having a party here in Granollers – in the top flat which we only recently decorated as part of an other attempt to make me feel at home. It was going to be a Camino celebration party but now it seems like a farewell. I can’t even tell you how I am feeling – all I know is that a change had to happen and I am happy to see what comes next.

Now that I have this news out in the open I can return next time with stories from the Camino. It was a wonderful experience and I want to write about it.

Also I have two more incredible balnearis to describe to you – one that we visited last week for my birthday.

And lastly, plans for the future of The Catalan Way. What will I be writing about when I am no longer living here?

All coming soon. Exciting times. Thanks as always for reading!

love Kate

Living in Catalunya 6 – what’s it really like? Michael

May 7, 2015April 9, 2015 ~ Kate Wilson ~ 1 Comment

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live abroad?

This is one in a series of interviews with people who came from other countries to live in Catalunya. I asked them the same questions that people often ask me to see what different stories emerge. You can read them here over the next weeks.

MICHAEL’S STORY

living in Catalunya — And remember that Catalunya is not Spain!

Tell us a bit about yourself

I’m an English teacher living in Barcelona, married to a Catalan and bringing up our child here.

How long have you lived here?

13 years

Are you working here and if yes, what do you do?

Yes, I’m an English teacher.

Three favourite things about living here?

Enjoying my family, my life and being a parent here. Enjoying the climate and the virtually permanent sunshine. Eating good healthy food and the whole experience of shopping and cooking fresh food (the clichéd Mediterranean diet).

Three things you don’t like about life here?

Corrupt fascist politics, politicians and businessmen. Pickpockets and the lax laws that make it easy for them to operate with virtual impunity. Mass tourism and the failure of the the city authorities to prevent Barcelona city centre from becoming a theme park (or perhaps that is in fact their goal).

What do you miss most about your ‘home’ country?

Being closer to my parents and family, and not being able to be there for them in times of need. The countryside, national parks and the smells and senses of being immersed in them. Being able to visit places I love with ease and frequency (ie. I can still visit from here, but the time I spend when I’m there has a premium to it which means I have to prioritise and therefore never get to do some of the things I love).

Three things you have learned about yourself or life since living in Catalunya?

That I can make it here, survive a new way of living, and come to love it. Many things unrelated to having moved here, but more to do with greater experience, wisdom, family and parenting, and having the privilege of living with a child and sharing their experience of discovering their world. That I had to stop eating croissants, ‘cos my cholesterol went through the roof!

What language(s) do you speak in your daily life here?

English and Spanish, whilst receiving but not producing Catalan.

Do you plan to return to your native country and in what circumstances would you definitely want to go back?

If I go back it’ll be related to caring for my parents, but not really for any other reason.

What advice would you give to someone thinking of moving to this country?

Take it easy! Don’t expect your own standards of efficiency or punctuality, equal opportunities (don’t exist) or health and safety (what’s that?). Give yourself more time than you expected to have to, to soak it all up and find your place here. Learn about Catalonia and remember that “Catalonia is not Spain” is not a tacky slogan, it’s a reality. Enjoy the adventure!

Have you read all six interviews? Were there any questions you would have asked these people about their experiences? Do let us know in the comments and I will try to do a follow-up later in the year.

This post is scheduled to be the final interview for the moment but I have some more people who would like to join in with their stories so perhaps later this year I will make space for some more. It would be interesting to hear from more men, and from people from different countries or who have been living here for many more years. Let me know if you would like to contibute.

Meanwhile, follow my posts by signing up to receive them directly to your inbox and for more photos and information about Catalunya, click LIKE on the facebook page.

Thank you so much for your support and for visiting my blog