I have decided to change my diet for Lent – for the Cuaresma. This will definitely mean giving up cake!
(except when my guests are here – that would be rude!!!)
So today I made a quick chocolate sponge filled with the home-made nutella from last week.
You can see I am really serious about this! I have till Wednesday to eat it – with help I hope.
I was waiting at Plaça Universitat last week and noticed all the other waiters.
How many of them were British I wondered?
When I first arrived in Spain I spent a lot of time waiting for friends. I would arrive 5 minutes early and still be there, standing alone, or sitting drinking my second coffee anything up to half an hour later. Sometimes even more but usually then there would be a text explaining that my friend was delayed.
It is a cliche but I think there is truth in it – people here are more relaxed about time.
But not everyone.
I also have Catalan friends who arrive on time and sometimes they have to wait for me.
The trick is to know which ones are which because usually it is the same people who make you wait, and the same ones who are there waiting.
I don’t have a pattern so sometimes I am my usual punctual self, and at others I decide to relax and I don’t leave home in time to get somewhere at the agreed hour. It’s a bit random and sometimes I get there on time for the latecomers – as I did last week in Barcelona – or I arrive late for those who are punctual.
I need to get more organised and just be late for the latecomers. But will they then surprise me by arriving on time? Or will they somehow know and arrive even later?
I live with someone who makes people wait so unfortunately I have got into the bad habit of not getting ready to leave in time. If I try to leave the house punctually with him then I am doomed to at least half an hour of frustration – waiting , waiting, waiting for him to be ready.
I’ve been so caught up in worries about the dogs fighting, Blue’s cystitis, my painful hands, the imminent arrival of the Resident Adolescent to stay for good, and a hundred other little anxieties that, I lost sight of the big picture for a while.
And of course in spite of normal troubles, I do like my life here.
There was a time when I lived in Cornwall when I was struggling to see the point of anything so I started a practice of writing down every night five things that I was grateful for. If it was a bad day I could write down basics – I have a home, I can breathe, I have running water, I have two legs, I have food.
But of course when I looked there was always so much more:- people who had smiled at me, experiences that were good, friends who gave me a hug.
It seems to be one of those magic formulae that is easy to do but sometimes we forget to do it.
Too often I get caught up in the small stuff and this is something I want to change.
Just off the top of my head here is my list for today – if anyone wants to join in I’d love to hear what 5 things you feel glad of today.
1. I am so glad to have my two beautiful dogs here with me so I can enjoy them, care for them and run my hands through their soft warm fur every day.
2. I am grateful for the sunny weather this winter so that when I go out with the dogs it is a pleasure to be in the open air.
3. The internet is amazing and I am grateful for all the wonderful bloggers I have found who share their experiences, their creativity, their humour and their humanity. It has helped me feel less alone here.
Here’s one of my favourites.
4. I am really glad there is a drawing class here in Granollers and grateful to Dolores for taking me there. It is so good to be doing something creative.
5. How amazing it is to be able to get on a train and in 40 minutes arrive in the centre of Barcelona. I went up this week and it is like an injection of pure happiness. I love that buzz in the air.
I notice in myself a hesitation to let you read this post – perhaps I worry that it sounds complacent to make a list of good things in your life. I promise I would try to do it in on the bad days too.
I believe it is an energy changer and can work miracles.
Why not try it?
Blue wakes at 8am every morning.
Woof Woof!
And sometimes the thump thump as she makes her slow way up the stairs to wake me.
I get up and pull on tracksuit sort of clothes over my nightie, a hat to cover my uncombed hair and hope not to meet anyone who might notice I haven’t washed my teeth.
We go here
The sun was rising
The cat lady hadn’t been yet to fill the food bowls
Then, I’m ashamed to say, back to bed!
It is exactly a year since my partners mother died and 11 years minus a day since my own mother’s death. This awareness of anniversary gives me a strong sense of time passing and life changing around me. And it’s February and cold which makes me want to stay indoors and stare into space. Next week starts Lent or the Quaresma as it is called here. Traditionally it is a period of 40 days preparation for Easter. The three traditional practices are prayer, fasting and almsgiving. This is the first year I have felt such a strong urge to participate in this ritual, but in what way? I am trying to create a daily meditation practice – sitting or walking and making space for some inner peace. I have decided it is time to take a break from wheat products and sugar. I’m not good at self denial but perhaps now is a good time to stop trying to fill myself up and instead, feel the emptiness. I want to test my will to change. I also like the idea I saw somewhere on the internet of having a day/ a week/perhaps a month or more of saying yes to people’s requests for help. Letting go of the feeling that I don’t have enough -time, money, energy – just saying yes and helping when I can.
A friends mother died this week and we went to the Tanatori to spend some time with her. Have I written about these places before? This was the third time I have been to one and I now understand a little better what it is all about. Usually after a death there will be two days when you can offer support to the family at the Tanatori. They tend to be tasteful but sterile places, each family has a room to itself and people spill out into the halls where there are chairs and tables. The death will be recent – that same day or the one before so people are raw and it is a chance to spend time together before the actual funeral. The person who has died is also there but there is no need to see them if you don’t want to or perhaps didn’t know them. The Tanatoris are fairly recent and in the past the community mourning took place at home. I don’t know when the custom changed or why but I can see that it brings people together and when some friends of mine came all the way from Barcelona to see us in the Tanatori after my mother-not-in-law died it was a huge comfort
Funerals in the UK don’t happen so quickly – there are days of preparation and the actual funeral ceremony is the time when friends family and neighbours come together. Afterwards there is food and, hopefully, whisky or a cup of tea and a sandwich. Here refreshments are not part of the process but perhaps this was lost in the transition from home to Tanatori.
I don’t want to sound morbid but I do ask myself sometimes what would I want for my funeral if I died while I was here in Catalunya? And how would my friends and family be able to get here in time?
When you move country these things too go through your head – or through mine, at least in February.
I notice a reluctance to publish this post – I know many people don’t like to talk about or think too much about death. Sorry if this is you……but for me it is part of life and not taboo.
