If I was reading my blog I would have thought yesterday: 
‘What’s going on?  How can you write nothing for almost a month and then just reappear with no explanation with a post about paella in Cornwall?’

I have been unable to write for the past month.  Not because there is nothing to say nor because I don’t want to say anything but because I don’t know how.
So here it is. Unadorned reality.  In early August we heard that my brother had died, unexpectedly, suddenly and without warning.  And when you write a blog, especially one that is semi-personal, this kind of real life event poses a problem.  Ignore it? Write about it? Refer to it in passing?
Impossible decisions while in the middle of an emotional crisis.

For myself I have no problems writing about my life and what happens but it’s not just about me, there are others who might prefer total privacy.
So silence ensued while I mulled over this question and many others

Someone dies and in a strange way you feel more alive. I suppose it is because you are shaken out of the dream in which you live forever and change takes place slowly and gently.
Boom!  Suddenly you wake up to time and mortality and uncomfortable words like ‘too late’ and ‘never’ and ‘the end’. And exciting words like ‘now’ and ‘do it’ and ‘yes’

This blog is about my life in Catalunya but I sometimes wonder what exactly that should include and what is better left out. I never wanted it to be just a travel blog nor a blog about culture and language. For me it was always more about what happens when you step outside of the familiar and comfortable and go in search of Self.  The Catalan Way is a sort of joke I have with myself about taking a different path and I want to describe all the adventures I have along the way. 
But I notice now more than ever that there is a censor – internalized and strong – that sometimes makes it hard to write exactly how I would choose to

My brother was a writer – he wrote fiction while I have chosen this different way.  But our own lives when described become a sort of fiction, we include some things and miss out others.
Writing here is important to me so I include this part of my life. 

Rather tentatively, I must admit, but with love.  And with a heightened sense of the importance of following your dreams, appreciating each day whatever it brings, and loving everyone in your life as much as possible.  We are all fragile and we are all strong.