As you may know I am in the middle of clearing out my home so that I can move more freely from Cornwall to Catalunya. The idea of carrying a lighter load in life appeals to me and I am in the right moment of life to let things go without too much trouble. I am selling and donating and giving and discarding and sorting and burning and deciding what I want to keep. It’s an interesting process and much more time-consuming that I expected. The house seems emptier but if I am honest it is also still far too full. Again and again I review decisions and whittle away at the edges of the mountain of stuff.
One of the hardest questions was ‘what do you do with your old teddy bears?’
Looking around the house there are quite a lot of them and although I am happy to have a couple of furry friends, I don’t really want to carry a sackload of them all the way to Catalunya. I’m not a bear collector but someone I knew was and so I received more than my fair share of bears. I also had two or three from childhood and some others which were gifts along the way. Teddy bears don’t have the same popularity in Catalunya as they do in Britain so I have met some strange looks when I try to explain what they mean in my life.
The hardest ones to deal with are the childhood bears. They carry so many memories. They were animated into living beings and although they have sat ignored and neglected for years, when you think of getting rid of them it feels unthinkable. To be sent to a charity shop. To be stuffed in a bin bag? Those sad faces! Impossible!
When I told my sister I was thinking of getting rid of them she was horrified – Are you going mad?
So what to do? Should I keep them for ever because I can’t cope with the guilt of letting them go?
The drive to clear things is strong and I want to make space for the here and now so in spite of resistance I made a decision. I would burn them. It seemed the only way to honour them and let them go and I thought of making it a proper ceremony. But – in case you are getting upset already – don’t worry, it didn’t happen. A friend rescued them and took them to live in a teddy bear museum. They were welcomed there in spite of their aging growls, hairless tummys and wonky limbs. I suppose it was the best way.
Other bears with less personal shared history have been sold and several are awaiting their moment on ebay. I have to admit I don’t really like doing this – there is something demeaning for them in having to look their best to be sold
This is just one of the many challenges of house clearing!
I would have the same trouble looking at those sad faces. I would probably keep a few that were my very own from childhood, the rest I would give away. I am glad your found a home in a museum and possibly will find homes where they will be loved some more. I am guilty of giving animation to inanimate objects, but I declare that my creative side, so you are in good company!
I read “burn them” and literally screamed. Yay for the teddy bear museum! I visited a place like that once in Germany and it was super interesting.
I still have a very few of mine that have survived all the various purges. A couple I gave to my kids. Tough decisions.
I must add that I didn’t consider burning the easy option! It just felt the only way to let them go without provoking uneasy dreams about where they would end up. They were tired too and sad because I have no children to play with them and the dogs sometimes eye them up with interest!!! A fire of cleansing and purification and release was what I was thinking of. but…perhaps it would have been too hard in the end to do it. K x
I am such a terrible hoarder, for sentimental often illogical reasons, so this was a hard one to read. My old bear Moppet sits on a little shelf at the foot of my bed together with Cees’ bear Crumb, bought in the Borders, and next to them a Miffy/Nijntje rabbit I bought for my Mum when she was in hospital. So still part of my life. But most of the other bears/animals (do you remember the bear that I thought looked like your father and called Edgar?) were given away to children or sold and I don’t miss them at all. My daughter Emma has a bear (and a black monkey) she will probably never part with either.
I greatly admire your clearing out process, I sometimes think it would be a good idea to move house to force me to declutter. Maybe I can be inspired enough by you to actually start getting rid of stuff!
Good luck with the rest, Christine
hi Christine Lovely to hear from you and it made me feel a little bad thinking again that I don’t have those old faces at the bottom of my bed now. It’s a weird process and an emotional one to let go of things of sentimental value. But I seem to be doing it – not because I think it is the best thing for everyone, only that for me now it feels vital. And I imagine the important part is the letting go psychologically, not the physical things but the deeper willingness to untie myself from things that restrict my free movement. Perhaps for other people they are free without this process in the material world but for me it feels very liberating to see things go on their way to a new life. K x
Don’t feel bad. You’re right, it’s psychologically vital to take leave of things if you make the decision to be in another place. I got rid of stuff when I moved to the Netherlands but I had already taken leave of plenty when I left Ian. Without any problems I might add, I kept the personal things I really cared about (including the piano!).
xx
Dear Kate,
I knew there was a Barbie Doll Museum (in SF) but not that there was a Teddy Bear one. Where is it?
I wonder what other toy museums there are ??!!
Pearl x