What’s come over me?
I get some strange looks when I talk to old friends about football and Barça. It’s not as if I have ever been a sporty person – at school I was more often found in the girls loos smoking tipped singles than racing round a hockey pitch in the wind and the rain.
And football – isn’t that a man’s thing?  Weren’t you a feminist once?
When Scotland played in the World Cup I watched the games out of national loyalty, but in a half hearted ironic sort of way.
In general I hated football fans, the beer guzzling, the macho posturing, the reverence shown for a group of boys running around after a ball, watched by other men and sometimes their girlfriends. I resented how much time and space football takes up on the TV and the newspapers.
So I totally understand why people glaze over when I tell them I am watching Barça play. When I say I am staying at home to watch a match. When I am excited after they win. When I write about it here or on Facebook. I must have been taken over by an alien, or worse….I have become one of those pathetic girlfriends who mindlessly support their boyfriends team!
My explanation of this new me
1. I always wanted Scotland to win – it was to do with wanting my small and colonised country to do something great. And this feeling was stronger if it meant beating England. However, with Scotland you have to get used to losing.  It is a triumph of hope over experience.
With Barça this isn’t a problem – they are symbolic of Catalunya, another small colonised country, and they win, again and again and again.  I like winning for a change.
2. I like them.   I wouldn’t support them just for being Catalan and for being the best. What matters to me is that they are different.  The players don’t seem like the arrogant, macho yobs you find in British teams. They have kind intelligent faces. Their coach is sensitive, gracious and humane and he speaks several languages.   They seem like normal humans.
3. The ethos of the club is something I can agree with.
4. The fans are ordinary people. I have tried to go shopping when the tide of Tottenham fans pass by and it is not a pleasant experience. However walking towards Camp Nou before a game is relaxing. There are families, people are chatting normally, I didn’t see any beer cans or shaved heads.
5. And the football is wonderful – I don’t understand the rules of off-side or know what a penalty is but I love watching Messi dribbling the ball, magically dodging the opposition, knowing exactly the moment to kick and the balls seems to be drawn to the goal.  It is like a dance, it seems effortless, it is a privilege to witness this skill.
6. I like that they play as a team, they support each other.  They are famous for their football and not for drunken rampages in night clubs.
What’s Behind It?
I read somewhere that the desire to root for a team comes from our longing for a family, for a group where we belong. This too is a powerful part of supporting Barça. I resisted it at first but actually it is very lovely to feel part of such a huge population of fans. I am happy to be part of this group. It is about living in Catalunya and feeling part of the culture.
I read that we also like to bask in reflected glory. And what glory there is to bask in with Barça!  I feel myself bursting with pride when they score a goal. It’s a weird feeling and not at all rational, but very very nice.
Studies show that people who support teams are more happy and less depressed. Even when they are on the losing side!  Supporting a team has some of the elements of myth and legend. The battle between good and evil,  the players are our mythical warriors and we want them to win the ultimate battle. In this story Barça has it all – they symbolise the small and oppressed nation of Catalunya, they seem to be good people and  in the battle against the baddies, they WIN!
Men and Women
A friend wrote to me after the last game that there is  ‘nothing so concentrated as a convert’ and it made me realise I do feel a little embarrassed by my new affiliation.  Am I giving something up? How is it possible to be a woman who likes football which in the end is still just two lots of boys chasing a ball up and down a field? Backed up by lots of money and camouflaging a hidden world of dirty deals and corruption.

But of course I have conflicting feelings about it.

While we are watching the football – what are we not doing?

Some other friends studiously ignore all my comments about the game and my interest in it. They politely tilt their heads and smile and change the subject as if there is a bad smell in the room.
For now though, while continuing to check myself for signs of madness,  I’m going to carry on supporting ‘that terrible football club‘